Don Giovanni (from Mozart’s world-famous opera) is in despair: What’s going on here, in this new, digitally subjugated world? All certainties about sex(-ish), desire, lust and gluttony seem to be gone, his arts useless, not only in the realm of Tinder and Grindr. With the opera hero who has fallen out of time, we examine the mechanics of business models, the hidden laws of algorithms that create distorted relationship ideals, bending love and eroticism to generate lucrative profits. But couldn’t we also recapture skills such as wit, creativity, imagination and the art of seduction from and with Giovanni?